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I Don't Love You

from Not So Much a Sin as a Mistake by Andy Jones

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lyrics

It was a warm, summer night. I was hiding underneath the light
of any and all things. Little eyes with gold wings grabbed a hold
of my clothes, dragged them up to the sky and then, from its light,
you arose and proceeded to glow.

You leaned down and kissed my cheek; my face flushed like water
from the sink, and I could hardly speak. Still, you asked what I think.
I said I don't really know: it's not a difficult question, but who really knows how to place thoughts in rows?

And now I'm trying hard to convince myself that I don't love you,
but I do, and I know that we could have been true.
Yes, I know that we could have been true.

We agreed that love is an abstract--a notion that you can't lay flat
and stick up on a wall: sooner or later it falls. But you said,
"When it's good, let me tell you it's really good." I said, "It's never
been good." I still don't think it's been good for me.

I always mean to do something around the holidays--some special thing to capture sense of place, but the time slips away in its own unique way, and it never comes back. It just keeps going on and on, always circling the track, but never making a lap.

And now I'm trying hard to convince myself that I don't love you,
but I do, and I know that we could have been true.
Yes, I know that we could have been true.

But I'm not trying that hard, you see,
because it's so fun to dream.
Not really fun, it's a need--
a need to, need to dream.

And I know, yes I see that I haven't been tremendously concrete,
and there are many things, yes so many things that I can't
bear to name. I'm sure you've heard it before and think
that it's all the same, so I'd rather be plain.

And now I'm trying hard to convince myself that I don't love you,
but I do, and I know that we could have been true.
Yes, I know that we could have been true.

And now I'm trying hard to convince myself that I don't love you,
but I do, and I know that we could have been true.
Yes, I know that we could have been true.

Yes, I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOW
that we could have been true.

credits

from Not So Much a Sin as a Mistake, released July 20, 2014
Written by Andy Jones
Guitar and vocals by Andy Jones

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